It used to mean something when someone said ‘I love you’. It used to mean something when a young man showed interest in a lady. It has become so far-fetched and relatively irrelevant when you hear those words now. Everyone seems to be looking for true love. I’ve often wanted to ask, is there anything like false love? There is only love; anything different is lust. We live in a world which is highly influenced by technology: where skinny with a splendid curvature is a high case value, where every girl is trying to starve because she doesn’t feel she’s good enough, where guys are chasing after six-pack abs like it was beer. Everything we knew or learned growing up doesn’t matter much now, does it? It’s useful if you meet a guy who shares the same view; other than that, its value is worth little or nothing.
It’s always obvious when a man treats a woman like she’s only good for sex. If you are on the other end of the phone, which rings every single night and seems to run out of power before sweet dreams, it is not love. Why rush when you know love takes time? Every young man is a potential boyfriend, whether they are hooked or not. It doesn’t matter when
you meet them. “Prince Charming isn’t waiting for you around the corner. “Neither is Miss Perfect (Unless she and Prince Charming are together and, if so, then they are not looking for anyone else!)” a quote from ‘Making Great Decisions‘ by T. D. Jakes. In today’s singles competition market, every somewhat good man is Mr Right. Which makes it really hard to tell if you are making the right choice or not. When I was growing up in Ghana, having sex used to be a big deal; even asking a girl out on a date wasn’t that easy. “I love you”s used to mean something when you said it to a girl or a girl said it to you. Now, all we have left is a bunch of hormonal creatures wandering out on the streets waiting for someone to say the right words. It’s quite sad to witness this high streak of mistakes after mistake. Are we that desperate for love? Are we that eager to get married? Last time I checked, relationships, be it sexual or marital, are a lot of work. One can always tell when a guy is interested in her cookies or when he is for real. I think the curbing of most conversations to married life is what seals the deal these days. It’s a perfect competition in the singles market out there. Standards really don’t matter anymore, seeing as almost everyone out there is settling for whatever they can lay their hands on. Not only is that wrong, but to confuse a compromise for love is quite absurd, if you ask me.
When it comes to marriage, in our world, Africa, every man wants a good woman. I think we’ve become so passive to the awful tunes of life that our short-term satisfaction choices promote a stigma which is spreading fast. Every guy tries to impress a girl with the old magic trick. Which still seems to work. It’s okay to ‘sex’ things up a little bit as long as you’ll put a ring on it. In my experience, love takes time. We all want the real deal, we want to be loved but we’ve been inundated by the pressure that comes from wanting to feel and know what it’s like to be loved. We crave it day and night and every now and then, when someone pretends to be that person, we break down and let them in. But, can you blame us? Girls are bombarded with calls and gestures which are directed at making them feel the genuineness of a guy’s intentions. And girls, if they are desperate don’t even put up a defense. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Don’t forget, guys always want what they can’t have and as long as you don’t give it to them, they’ll keep coming. Scarce goods are always high case value.
No wonder all the girls are always giving the guys a hard time. No guy is a perfect and no girl is either. But if a guy loves you for who you are, if you don’t have to pretend to be someone else. If he is honest and true to you, if he thinks about you and what makes you happy, marry him. Of course all that is bound to change. Come to think of it, what is love? Strip away all the attributes, patient, kind , etc. What would you call love? Why do you fall in love? What was it, about him that drew you in to his net? Relationship is not all about true emotions, it’s about chemistry. Most single guys and girls don’t consider that but if the chemistry is bad, your relationship is bound to hit rock bottom. You succumb to the addiction of satisfying your wants. Of course, you are human, but remember, you are ultimately responsible for yourself first. Yes, it’s true what they say, follow your heart’, but no one closes their eyes and say, love is blind. You can’t go in search of true love.
There is nothing like true love. What you are actually looking for is just love. Love in all its entirety. Love for all that it’s worth. As a human, you are a mystery to yourself and also to your friends. Which means he cannot learn everything he likes about you after one date. Love takes time. It takes time to build, and when lost, it could take time to fill the void. Some die with the emptiness. Love is an amazing thing, but you can get it wrong. I think there are a lot of people who have settled for some guy who is treating them half right. I think we’ve crossed that bridge. Do not confuse that surge of adrenaline for love. Love at first sight is for the movies, and you must undoubtedly leave it there. I know a lot of people will not agree with me on this, but love cannot be false. Love is love…end of story!
